So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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