was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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