I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My vagina is very pro this idea
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