my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize