Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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