I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize