Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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