i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
we should paint friendship bongs
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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