can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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