So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
