nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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