If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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