i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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