at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
