Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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