and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
