I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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