I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
