Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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