I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
