yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
