My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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