What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
