if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
