weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
