I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
