I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I enjoy the company of your penis
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
