Define "chronic" masturbator.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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