How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
We smell like vodka and hangover
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
