Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
