i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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