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• (416): View more from Ontario

  i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  That baby is bound to be under-loved.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Whatever you gave me is making me lactate

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.

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• (818): View more from California

  You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...

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• (585): View more from New York

  His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.

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