i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
