I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
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He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
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... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize