Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
