i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
