I have demons in me.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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