I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
