how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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