yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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