I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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