walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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