I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
