Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
