I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
