it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
