my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
