No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
