he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize