I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
