Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
