Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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