Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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