ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
