we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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