yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
