all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
