I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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