hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
