The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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