Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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