I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
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I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
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You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize