hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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