bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
