I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
